What NO ONE Told Me About C-Sections

Disclosure: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links. This means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely find helpful.

We knew for months that my wife would have a C-section. Every OB visit confirmed it. I’d be in the operating room, they said. I’d be there to see our son come into the world.

What no one told us was that I wouldn’t be allowed in the room for most of it.

The Wait

On the day of our son’s birth, my wife was taken into the OR first. I was led to a small, empty room and handed a pair of green scrubs, a cap, and a mask. Then I was told to wait.

So I waited.

And waited.

I don’t know how long I was in there, sitting alone, dressed like a surgeon but feeling like a background character in someone else’s scene. Eventually, the anesthesiologist came to get me. By the time I walked into the OR, the procedure was already in progress.

What I Didn’t See

Later, my wife told me what happened while I was waiting.

Getting the spinal block was rough. Her blood pressure dropped, and she vomited multiple times. She was scared. She was awake. She could feel everything. Not pain exactly, but pressure and movement. It was unsettling and overwhelming.

And she was alone.

While I was just a few yards away, she held the hand of the surgeon’s physician assistant. That person was kind and did their best to help, but it should have been me.

The Arrival

Once I was brought into the room, it all happened fast. Within minutes, we heard our son’s first cries and saw him lifted above the surgical curtain. That sound still brings tears to my eyes.

The nurses quickly cleaned him, held him up near the scale so I could take a picture, and handed me the scissors to trim the cord. It had already been cut, which was another surprise. Then they swaddled him and led me back to the original room with our newborn.

Meanwhile, my wife was still on the table being stitched up. The PA who had been holding her hand was now busy closing the incision. She was completely alone.

Those First Moments

A nurse and a student nurse joined me and my son in our room. They re-measured him, checked reflexes, gave him his vitamin K shot (more on that in a future post), and re-swaddled him.

Then they left, and it was just the two of us.

I held him and tried to stay present. I had no idea how my wife was doing. It was probably another 20 minutes before she was wheeled back in.

What I Wish We’d Known

No one told us I wouldn’t be there during the hardest parts.

No one said she’d be conscious and scared and without the one person she expected to be by her side. No one prepared us for how exposed and powerless it would feel.

As her husband, it broke my heart to learn what she went through while I sat waiting just outside.

If you’re planning for a C-section, I hope this helps you prepare in a way we weren’t. Ask about the process. Make a plan together. Talk through the “what ifs.”

No one should feel alone during a moment that big.

Save

Disclosure: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links. This means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely find helpful.